


Jamais Vu

by KagekaNecavi



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Ancient Technology, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M, SGA Secret Santa 2017, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 08:45:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13050546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KagekaNecavi/pseuds/KagekaNecavi
Summary: On a routine trading mission Rodney picks up a bit of ancient tech with a purpose none of them can quite figure out, until he manages to activate it.





	Jamais Vu

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wizbey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wizbey/gifts).



> This is wizbey's SGA Secret Santa 2017 present. Takes place vaguely after Season 3 Episode 14, Tao of Rodney and has blink and you'll miss it spoilers for that episode, as well as minor spoilers for Season 2 Episode 12, Epiphany. Otherwise there aren't any spoilers, I don't think. Let me know if I missed some, or if I missed a tag because I'm not great at knowing what to add to the tags. Further notes, including one very minor warning, at the end.

It’s supposed to be a fairly easy mission. All they have to do is go to a world they’ve already been to and have established a good relationship with and make some trades. The planet has a different day/night schedule than they do in Atlantis so after the mission briefing from Elizabeth they have about a half an hour before they need to get ready to go, and John follows Rodney back to his lab. Because of course Rodney is going to go back to his lab when he has a few minutes to spare.

Radek scowls when he sees Rodney come in. “I thought I was going to be rid of you for the day?”

“It’s still pre-dawn on the planet,” Rodney explains absently. He makes a beeline to his latest project, and John grins a little.

“Ah, so we have to put up with you for longer,” Radek sighs and rolls his eyes a little, dramatically.

“Yes, hold off on the partying you no doubt do when I’m gone and actually work for a little while longer,” Rodney says. He looks over at John as if just now noticing that John had followed him - as if they hadn’t had an energetic, though not especially heated, argument about the most underrated comic book characters on the way there. John had stuck to his guns about Aquaman (“The guy can survive pressure at the depths of the bottom of the ocean - he’s gotta be way stronger than most of the writers realize” vs Rodney’s “It’s a comic book, Sheppard - half the non-powered characters survive at those depths with little more than a rebreather.”) the entire way just to annoy Rodney. “Did you want something?”

“Actually, I was going to say that since this mission is supposed to just be a milk run you could take a break and stay here,” John deliberately uses his slow drawl to his advantage, timing the ‘stay here’ to when Radek is taking a drink of his coffee and making him choke a little on it. The overreaction makes John laugh a bit. It’s the little things. “After all, haven’t you been complaining about not having enough chance to work on that one project?”

Rodney screws up his face, taking offense to exactly the wrong thing in the sentence. Winding up the science department is John’s absolute _favorite_  hobby. “‘That one project’ Sheppard? You know very well what the project is and what it’s for -”

“Yeah, I do,” John says easily, giving Rodney a mildly flirtatious grin. No one else but Radek is in the lab and Radek is cleaning up the coffee spill. Not that they have to be subtle around Radek - he’s not American, not military, and he’d only half sarcastically asked Rodney if he and John were together ages ago.  Rodney trails off with a splutter and glares at him.

“You love using your superpowers for evil, don’t you?” Rodney asks eventually. When they got together John very quickly learned how easy it was to get Rodney off track with a few words and a grin, and the effect doesn’t seem to lessen with time.

“Yep,” John pops the ‘p’ a little.

“You’re in a mood, Sheppard,” Rodney says, giving him a little grin, and John smiles back. He loves seeing that crooked mouth twisted up just for him.

“The mission is supposed to be easy, and the village we’re going to is a good way away from the Gate - that means I get to fly the Jumper for a while. Easy mission, lots of flying, why shouldn’t I be in a good mood?” John asks, leaning against the desk and pressing his leg to Rodney’s, basking in his warmth. He’s always touched Rodney more than anyone else and he’s been careful not to touch him more - or less - now, but every so often he can’t help himself, he just has to get in a little extra touching.

“And yet you don’t want me to come?” Rodney sounds slightly hurt, but John knows how to smooth the ruffled feathers.

“I just thought it might get boring for you - we’ve been there before and never found anything that interesting. I figured you’d rather be here working. But if you’d rather come on the mission then that’s great,” he smiles at Rodney, brightly, and Rodney nods a little.

“It’s just our luck that if you think it’s easy and I shouldn’t come it’ll be the time you really need me,” Rodney huffs, and John vaguely wonders if he’s just jinxed them.

 

* * *

 

They leave for the mission a few hours later. Since it’s just a trading mission they pack light but still make sure to come prepared - they’ve run into nasty surprises enough times that they don’t want it to happen again. Not if they can help it.

For the most part things go as expected. They take a jumper to the village and let Teyla take charge once they get there.

After the trading itself is over, they are invited to stay the night. Things are fairly quiet back at Atlantis at the moment and John had gotten permission to stay longer from Elizabeth if he thinks it’s for the best. He just needs to contact her and let her know.

“There are scheduled to be several traders coming to our world through the Ring of the Ancestors tomorrow,” Malati - the village leader, and the woman with whom Teyla has been negotiating - tells them, smiling a little. She’s clearly trying to get them to stay, though it seems to genuinely be out of hospitality and a desire to visit with them than anything suspicious. “It would be to your advantage to stay and speak with them.”

“Sounds like a plan,” John says. He gets a kick out of the different sorts of traders they see, and sometimes Rodney can pick up some Ancient tech, or they can meet new potential allies.

“Good! I’ll have rooms arranged for you,” she pauses and asks, tone neutral, “How many rooms will you need?”

“We don’t want to impose,” John hedges, trying to remember if they were asked that last time they were here. Did they even stay the night last time? This is why he’s glad Teyla is the one who usually does most of the talking. He’s not even sure if he might have insulted Malati by saying something that sounds like they might refuse full hospitality.

“It’s no trouble. Our people are very close to the Athosians, and it is a joy to have Teyla with us. That extends to any she calls friend.”

“Two or three rooms would be sufficient,” Teyla says smoothly, “We’re used to bunking with each other - on some worlds we need to do so in tents.”

Malati nods and smiles, leading them off to the rooms they’ll be staying in. There are three of them and only one has a bed easily large enough for two. John and Rodney take that room, by a sort of unspoken agreement among all of them, and once they have their stuff secured John treks back to the Gate to tell Elizabeth that they’ll be staying overnight.

Once he’s back they have dinner with their hosts and stay up well into the night, talking and exchanging stories. Teyla is very familiar with people, clearly, and she seems to really be enjoying having time to visit with them. Eventually, though, they all head off to bed.

The next day the whole town is up early, bustling with excitement. Breakfast is nice and large - the way most farming towns have breakfast, hearty to give them energy for the day ahead.

The traders begin to show up about mid-morning and stay there all day. The only one of them who has any luck is Rodney, who finds a small ancient device that not even John can quite figure out. They purchase it for a small amount of goods in trade, since it seems fairly useless. Teyla says her goodbyes to the people in the village and they board the Jumper.

On the way back Rodney fiddles with the Ancient device, John glancing at him every so often. “Are you sure you should be doing that here?” John asks, nervously. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Rodney, he just doesn’t trust unknown Ancient tech. That thing could do anything.

Of course, though, Rodney takes offense, as if John doubted Rodney. Which he guesses he kinda did. “It’s perfectly safe, Sheppard. Now if you would pay attention to where we’re flying I would appreciate it.”

“If you say so, Rodney,” John says. He looks back at the Jumper readouts and very determinedly does  _not_  look at Rodney again.

That is, until he hears Ronon’s sharp question. “McKay, what’s wrong?”

John turns to see Rodney looking absolutely exhausted. As if he’s been going days on coffee and adrenaline to sustain him. “Rodney?!”

“Groundhog’s Day,” Rodney says, a complete non-sequitur, and John frowns.

“What?”

“This Ancient thing has us stuck in a time loop but I seem to be the only one who remembers. Groundhog’s Day,” Rodney says, strained, “Land the jumper now. There’s something about to go wrong with it that makes us crash.”

The idea is fucking insane, but John does as he’s told. Rodney has that tone in his voice that is not to be argued with. The ‘yes I am a motherfucking genius, thanks for noticing, now do it!’ tone. Even before they’ve landed Rodney is up, heading to the back and grabbing his tablet. John notices that his hands are shaking.

“Hey. _Hey_ ,” John says. As soon as he can be, he’s up and grabbing Rodney’s wrists, sliding his hands down to grasp Rodney’s. “Hey, whatever that thing is doing, we’re gonna get through it together.”

Rodney lets out a hysterical sounding laugh, the sound bubbling up from his throat like he can’t help it, and it tears at John to hear. “Together, right. I’ve been going through this by myself for … fucking who knows how long. You saying we’re going to do it together now is not going to fix anything.” There are tears in Rodney’s eyes and John both does and doesn’t want to know what’s happened. Rodney is so much stronger than most people give him credit for, and for something to be this close to breaking him … John can’t imagine what Rodney’s been going through, but he no longer thinks it sounds so insane.

“I promise you. I’m here for you. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do,” John says quietly.

Rodney’s resolve wavers ever so slightly and then hardens. How many times has this repeated for him?

“You said Groundhog’s Day - is the loop a day or is it different than that?” John asks instead. That’s at least somewhere to start. Rodney pulls away from him, turning towards the panels in the rear half of the Jumper.

“It’s twenty-seven and a half hours - one full day on this planet. Starting from the time I activated the thing,” Rodney explains. He opens a panel and grabs his stuff, performing a quick analysis before starting to swap around and reprogram crystals. John’s never seen him work this fast, but it makes sense, if he’s been through this before. He’ll know exactly what to do.

“How many times have you repeated this day?” Teyla asks, her tone gentle. John manages only barely to not jump in surprise - the world had narrowed down to Rodney so completely that he’d all but forgotten that Teyla and Ronon were there.

“I’m not sure. I just know I’m not getting much sleep. Too much to do,” Rodney shakes his head a little absently, like he’s trying to shake out cobwebs in his mind.

“Rodney that’s not good, you need to be getting rest,” John says, reaching out, but Rodney is already twisting away, like he anticipated the movement. How often have they had this conversation, or one like it?

“There were two or three days in there where I did nothing but rest. Once I let the jumper crash because I didn’t even feel like fixing the damn thing first, I was that exhausted,” Rodney says and glances ever so slightly at John. He can see the guilt in Rodney’s face, and he has to wonder if that’s why Rodney is so insistent on doing everything himself. Did something happen to John that Rodney now feels guilty for? It wouldn’t surprise him.

“We’re all okay now. That’s what’s important,” John says quietly and Rodney stumbles a little.

“How come every fucking time I forget how good you are at reading me?” Rodney mutters, clearly mostly speaking to himself. Is he even aware he’s speaking out loud?

“What do you need us to do, Rodney? Should I try to see what I can get from the device now that it’s active?” John asks, trying to stay focused. The sooner they fix this the sooner they can get home.

“No, you did that already. It’s some kind of fucking Ascension machine,” the derision is clear in Rodney’s voice, even as he’s working hard to fix the Jumper.

“You don’t have great luck with those, do you?” John says, trying for a gentle tease.

“No, I really don’t,” Rodney laughs slightly. He sounds less hysterical than before. That’s some improvement at least. John smiles and then glances around. He’s trying to see this problem from all angles, trying to figure it all out and ask smart questions.

“Why’d the jumper fail? It felt fine earlier this morning and yesterday.”

“It has to do with that machine. It’s kinda like the time dilation field you got trapped in. It’s a way for the Ancients to stay away from the Wraith and have time to Ascend. The idea is they go to a world where they know it’ll take the Wraith more than a day to get there, activate it, and then repeat the day over and over until they can Ascend,” Rodney says.

“That makes it sound like we should be remembering the loops with you,” John says.

“As far as I can figure out, you should. Fucking thing’s broken.”

“Have you tried just breaking it more?” Ronon asks suddenly, pulling his gun with a wicked look on his face. There’s an underlying worry though - he clearly hates seeing Rodney like this, too.

“Yes. That did not end well for anyone, so put it away,” Rodney’s voice is tight. Ronon shrugs and does so, and they go back to watching Rodney for a moment. After a minute more, Rodney closes the panel and nods. “It’s not gonna fuck up any more on us but it’s also not gonna work until I get the Ascension machine fixed. I hate to give it motives of its own, but it’s like the machine wants to keep us here - I guess it figures this place is safe and we need to stay here if we’re going to be good little Ancients and Ascend.”

John nods and tries to think of something they may not have thought of yet. He’s sure they’ve thought of walking to the Gate, or getting a lift from the villagers. Something must go wrong every time, if Rodney has decided that the machine ‘wants’ them to stay.

“Have you tried using parts from the Jumper to fix it or turn it off?” he asks after a long moment.

“What? No, I haven’t,” Rodney shakes his head. “It probably would mean disabling this Jumper, maybe permanently.”

John’s gut instinct is to say no, they can’t afford to lose the Jumper. But they’re stuck and saving their resources isn’t going to help them, not if it hasn’t helped them so far. “Do it.”

“What? Didn’t you hear me? I might not be able to fix the Jumper if I break it,” Rodney repeats, slowly.

“I heard you, McKay. Do it anyway. If disabling the Jumper means you can fix the machine instead then we’ll be able to walk to the Gate,” John says, “Going through loops for the rest of time because we didn’t want to sacrifice a Jumper isn’t smart.”

Rodney watches John a moment and then nods. “Okay.”

“Do you need any help from us?” Teyla asks, “I’m not entirely certain what we’d be able to do to help, but we’ll do anything you need us to.”

“I’m not sure if there’s anything that you can do, either, but I’ll let you know,” Rodney says, going up to the front of the Jumper and grabbing the Ascension machine and his computer and his tools and getting to work.

John gets himself settled near where Rodney is working and watches carefully, making sure that Rodney is doing okay - or at least as okay as he can be doing under the circumstances. Every so often he hands Rodney a tool at Rodney’s request but since Rodney is being uncharacteristically quiet, he mostly just watches, loathe to disturb Rodney’s concentration.

Eventually, after he’s been working for literally over an hour, Rodney says quietly, “The last few go arounds I’ve been meditating sometimes. Trying to see if maybe it might be possible for me to Ascend and that might break the cycle.”

“That’s not an option, McKay,” John snaps, harsher than he meant to. Rodney gives him a curious look, frowning a little. He clarifies, feeling vaguely embarrassed, “If you Ascend to get us out of this that’d be just like giving up and I’m not going to let that happen. Either we all get out of this or we don’t.”

“It’s not that simple!” Rodney shouts, his anger turning into a burst of energy and making him push away from the panel he’d been working on, “Time loops have an effect on more than just the person going through the loop. The entire fucking planet is stuck in it, too, and so is an ever increasing amount of spacetime. The longer we go through the loops the more likely it is for this to cause serious problems. I will not just sit around and let it fucking happen!”

“You’re the smartest man in two galaxies, McKay. You’ll be able to figure this out,” John tries to soothe him, but he can tell by the look on Rodney’s face that it isn’t working.

“I haven’t yet,” Rodney says, and John is suddenly reminded that Rodney is much less confident than he wants people to think he is. Most of his bluster is just show as far as John can figure out, and it must be killing Rodney that he can’t fix this.

“I trust you. I have faith in you,” John reaches for Rodney, slowly in case Rodney is going to be skittish about it. But Rodney lets him. He wraps a hand around the back of Rodney’s neck and pulls him close, kissing him soft and chaste. Their relationship is mostly a secret, but a few important people know - Ronon and Teyla first and foremost on that list. They usually still keep things quiet around people who know, just so they don’t make a mistake when it matters.

“More fool you,” Rodney mutters, but he seems to bask in the comfort and the physical closeness for a moment before getting back to work again.

It takes another several long hours before Rodney finishes, and when he’s done he hesitates before trying to activate the device. Ronon and Teyla and John are all gathered around Rodney in a little circle, waiting on tenterhooks for the result. Rodney just looks up at John and says, quietly, “I love you.”

John is startled for a moment - for all that they’ve been together for a little while now neither of them has said that yet. Does Rodney not think this will work, and John will forget what Rodney said? The loop still has hours to g, so does Rodney think he fucked up and the machine will do something to them?

Rodney closes his eyes and concentrates and John, anticipating some manner of reaction from the device, though he’s not sure what, tenses and holds his breath.

Absolutely nothing happens.

They all wait with baited breath for several long moments before Ronon says, eyebrows raised, “Wasn’t it supposed to  **do**  something?”

“Actually, I’m not sure how to tell if it worked,” Rodney admits.

“Is there a way to test it?” Teyla asks.

“We should try to contact Atlantis,” John suggests, “I’m assuming the loop cut us off - time will have passed for them but not for us, if I understand the way they work correctly.”

“Yeah, that’s it exactly,” Rodney confirms and adds, before John can say anything else, “Yes, I know you just read the mission report for the time SG-1 was caught in a time loop, but remembering how it works and understanding it is impressive.”

John blinks. They must have had a similar conversation before, because he was about to mention how he’d read the reports for that particular mission and it just stuck with him because he loves a good time travel story. He really does like Back to the Future, he doesn’t just pretend to because the science in it annoys Rodney.

“About how far from the Gate are we? Could a message reach from here?” he asks instead of commenting on Rodney’s foresight.

“No, we’re too far to dial. But we can walk or get a ride from the village,” Rodney says.

“Or we could wait,” Teyla points out, “We must have missed quite a few check ins by now and they are no doubt worried. They probably have a schedule established to attempt to contact us.”

“That’s a good idea. That way we won’t be separated when they get a hold of us,” John says.

Ronon seems less convinced, “And if they don’t try to contact us?”

“Then we wait and rest for a while and walk to them after a certain amount of time,” John shrugs. After a short discussion they decide that two hours after the loop is due to reset again is enough rest time, and after that they will all be walking to the Gate, together. It takes a lot for John to ignore Rodney’s murmured comments about how that’s only if it worked.

It doesn’t come to that, and a half an hour later the radio crackles. “This is Atlantis, come in please,” it’s Chuck, and he sounds vaguely hopeful. The connection actually establishing must be more than they’ve gotten before.

“Atlantis, this is Sheppard. We need some help.”

 

* * *

 

It’s been months. The planet that they are on and Atlantis have different numbers of hours in a day, so John reminds himself to ask for an exact number of hours sometime so he knows how many times Rodney has been through the loop. Atlantis sends a jumper and a pilot right away, with plans to send a second jumper with Radek in it to fix the one that Rodney broke, once John’s team is back on Atlantis.

Rodney had been asleep when the radio came to life, looking totally exhausted, but he starts weeping when he hears that it worked. Uncomfortable with that level of emotion, John feels like that’s a bit of an overreaction, but then he thinks about it a moment - Rodney had been looping for months. He must have thought he was going insane, or he’d never be able to fix it, or something. The relief of that sort of pressure would be very emotional for anyone.

As they wait for rescue John keeps thinking. Months. That’s … that’s a long time. How close had Rodney gotten to Ascending? Could he have done it soon if he’d been able to relax enough? John’s not sure he wants the answer, but he’s pretty sure that’s why Rodney had said ‘I love you’ to him. He hadn’t expected to last much longer.

John doesn’t get a chance to talk to Rodney about it before help arrives, because Rodney falls asleep again. Once they’re back on Atlantis Carson keeps them in medical for hours, then Rodney makes a beeline for the mess. Only after all of that is John able to get him alone.

“That was goodbye, wasn’t it?” John asks once he’s let himself into Rodney’s room.

Rodney jumps a little and stumbles a bit, since he’s in the middle of undressing. John is by his side quickly, steadying him. Once he’s steady, Rodney pulls away and mutters, “What the hell are you even talking about?”

“When you said … when you said you love me. It was goodbye, wasn't it?” John clarifies, and Rodney shakes his head a little, but the real answer is on his face. It was.

“Were you that close to Ascending?” John asks, though he feels like he knows the answer.

“I’m not sure but I think I was, yeah,” Rodney nods. “Dismantling the Jumper like that was our last hope. When I was about to activate it I felt this weird calm feeling. Like if it didn’t work I knew I’d be able to Ascend and save you and Ronon and Teyla.”

John had come so dangerously close to losing Rodney, and without really even knowing it. He cups the back of Rodney’s head, gently stroking the short hairs on the back of Rodney’s neck as he pulls him in for a kiss. “I love you, too,” he says quietly when they break the kiss. It feels a little soon to say it, but he also knows that he’s loved Rodney since long before they got together. Who cares about when it’s appropriate to say it. He feels it and he knows Rodney needs to hear it.

Rodney leans a bit onto John, as if most of his strength has been sapped by the whole ordeal, and John embraces him tightly. He’s fairly certain that when he came in Rodney had been getting ready to shower, but they end up just lying on the bed and taking comfort in each other’s presence until they both fall asleep, tangled up in each other.

**Author's Note:**

> The things from wizbey's request that I used for this are time travel, happy ending, and established relationship - specifically McShep. Hope you liked it! Oh, and the name I was given must be your lj name - if you have an account on AO3 I can gift this to, let me know!
> 
> Title for the work comes from the phenomenon [jamais vu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamais_vu), the opposite of deja vu, where one has the feeling they are seeing a situation for the first time when they are, in fact, not. There are apparently [23 works](http://archiveofourown.org/works/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Search&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Btitle%5D=Jamais+Vu&work_search%5Bcreator%5D=&work_search%5Brevised_at%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=0&work_search%5Bsingle_chapter%5D=0&work_search%5Bword_count%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&work_search%5Bfandom_names%5D=&work_search%5Brating_ids%5D=&work_search%5Bcharacter_names%5D=&work_search%5Brelationship_names%5D=&work_search%5Bfreeform_names%5D=&work_search%5Bhits%5D=&work_search%5Bkudos_count%5D=&work_search%5Bcomments_count%5D=&work_search%5Bbookmarks_count%5D=&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=&work_search%5Bsort_direction%5D=) currently with this title, but none of them are Stargate, until this one. I got the idea for this fic from a tumblr post about how time loop fics are out there, but we never see the loop from the POV of the/a person not experiencing it.
> 
> Spoilers and warnings:  
> Because he can't figure out how to break a time loop they are all caught in, Rodney considers Ascending (the fact that he might be able to do so is the blink and you'll miss it spoiler for Tao of Rodney) as a way out. John reacts to this as if Rodney is suggesting dying - which he is from a certain point of view.
> 
> The spoiler from Epiphany is the existence of the time dilation field.


End file.
